The bedtime blues
By Mark Bailey on Feb. 03, 2010
Dear Emily: Every night when it’s time to put my 3-year-old to sleep, there is a huge uproar in my house. She fights tooth and nail about going to bed, and I’m at the end of my rope to think of ways to get this behavior to stop. Please tell me I am overlooking an easy solution to make bedtime a pleasant experience? – Bedtime is a nightmare
Dear Bedtime is a nightmare: Easy solution? When dealing with a toddler? I don’t think I can guarantee something like that. But what I can tell you is that there are thousands of books out there written by parents, psychologists and pediatricians (to name a few) that claim to have ideas on how to make the bedtime process a bearable one. Look for some books online, and find a style that fits your parenting beliefs.
Personally, I like “1-2-3 Magic” by Dr. Thomas Phelan. It explains how to reward good behavior and stop bad behavior with some great, easy to follow, techniques. Other people recommend, “The Attachment Parenting Book” by William Sears, which advocates co-sleeping.
Dear Emily: I’m afraid that the spark is out of my marriage already, after only one year. I met my wife, “Sarah,” two years ago, and after a brief amount of time dating, I proposed. Everything moved so fast, and now I’m wondering if we are even right for each other. We fight constantly and don’t seem to enjoy each other’s company like we used to. Is it even worth it to try and make this relationship work? – Mulling over marriage
Dear Mulling over marriage: The commitment you make to marry isn’t something you should be complacent about. If you cared enough for Sarah to propose, you should still care enough to try and give this marriage a fighting chance. Divorce rates in America are very high; that’s old news. But the divorce rate among couples that have been married less than two years is extremely high as well. To me, this means two things. First, marriage is hard in the beginning. Couples have to adjust to completely different lifestyles. Second, happy marriages take work, and there are too many people out there who don’t want to do that work. So is you marriage “worth” saving, you ask?
Only you and Sarah know that for sure. But what I do know is that if you thought marriage was a good enough idea a year ago, it is certainly worth the effort to talk to a marriage counselor now and try to set things right.
Dear Emily: What is a good homemade gift to give someone, other than a food item? I want to give my neighbor a heartfelt thank-you gift for some work she’s been doing for me lately, but she suffers from a lot of food allergies. – At a loss
Dear At a loss: Picture frames, scented potpourri, knitted blankets, and candles are all things that make nice gifts when made by someone personally. But remember that a heart-felt gift doesn’t have to be homemade; it just has to be something personal to show your genuine appreciation. So why not try concentrating on your neighbor’s interests instead? If she likes gardening, get her some lawn decorations or flower seeds. If she likes to read, get her a copy of your favorite book. If she is a really social person, perhaps a gift certificate to her favorite restaurant would be something she would enjoy.
w Have a question? Ask Emily at or write in care of The Burg, P.O. Box 10129, Lynchburg, VA 24506. Then go to http://www.the-burg.com and leave a comment.
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