The Bachelor: Jilted Jake looks for love
By Casey Gillis on Jan. 05, 2010
Jake Pavelka, ABC’s latest Bachelor, is a nice guy.
And there’s no denying that he has movie star good looks. Those abs! That smile!
But I’m just not sure he’s the best, most charismatic choice to headline his own version of the series.
The Dallas-based pilot was one of Jillian Harris’ jilted suitors during the last season of “The Bachelorette,” where he whined about being too nice and said he rarely went on any second dates.
It wasn’t long before we learned why: his first date chatter is way too intense. Jake fell too hard and too fast, and a put off Jill eventually sent him packing.
Unfortunately, not much had changed when we met back up with Jake earlier this week in the premiere, which aired Monday night. (The show returns with a new two-hour episode next week.)
Sure, the producers tried to suck us in with shots of those picture-perfect abs.
How many times could they show him sans shirt? Well, folks, I counted. A whopping 17 times, seven of which were during the actual show — those scenes of him looking out longingly from the edge of an infinity pool and inexplicably working out on a city rooftop. The other 10 came from the previews for the rest of the season.
Jake still remains too earnest for this experience, He spouted out clichés about nice guys finishing last — “You know what, nice guys don’t finish last. Nice guys just have to wait a little longer sometimes.” — and compared flying a plane to falling in love.
Right before he met the 25 contenders, Jake was confident his wife was among them.
“This is it,” he said. “I’m not going to be single much longer. … One of these 25 girls is going to be exactly what I’m looking for.”
I guess you have to admire his optimism, after all the failed relationships this show has produced.
After Jake met each woman and started mingling at the cocktail party, a few personalities emerged.
The soft-spoken Michelle, an office manager from California, is the crazy one — hey, her fellow bachelorettes said it first — who already thinks she’s in love with Jake. She got jealous when he talked to the other girls and started crying long before the rose ceremony even happened. I have a feeling she’s not going to handle this experi-ence very well.
Christina is the one who isn’t there to make friends (though she gets points for her dress, a teal one-shouldered number that was far more fashion forward than some of her counterparts sparkly, prom-esque ensembles). She showed up at the cocktail party with bags of jelly beans and delighted in telling everyone their purpose: she plans to give them out to the girls Jake sends home. Catty.
In a desperate move, Ashley, a teacher from Pittsburgh, left the cocktail party at one point and emerged in an un-flattering flight attendant outfit that had the other girls rolling their eyes.
Later on, Elizabeth, a nanny, tossed a football with Jake because “you can tell a lot about a guy by the way he throws a football.” I’m not so sure about that logic, but I was afraid they were going to have a Marcia Brady “Oh-my-nose” moment.
We even had a Bachelorette from close to home, Richmond-based model Rozlyn, who seemed a little snooty. But then she won me over with this sensible confession: “I’d love to find somebody that I want to share my life with. But, at the same time, I’m not desperate for it.”
The highlight of the episode was when Jill and Ed, the guy she ultimately chose over Jake, showed up to help him sort through his prospects. Ed was his typically cute, funny self, and, despite tabloid rumors of cheating, things seemed to be good with Jill. I am oh-so-cynical about this show and most of its couples, but I have an unnatural attachment to these two. They must stay together.
When rose ceremony time came, I was sad that Jake let the other Elizabeth, an Air National Guard captain, go. But some of my other favorite remained, including Tenley, a divorcee who got the first kiss from Jake, and Ali, a Massachusetts native terrified of flying.
Oh, and he kept crazy Michelle. Of course.
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