Ask Emily: Manners matter
By Casey Gillis on Jul. 30, 2008
Dear Emily: I am a 27- year-old single guy, trying to get a girlfriend. No matter how much I date, or how many different types of girls I go out with, I can never get someone to go out with me a third or fourth time. I am obviously doing something wrong, but I don’t know what. Just what is it women are looking for?
- Down and dateless
Dear Down and dateless: Not being able to get a girl to go out with you a third time tells me that you need more than some tips on what women want in a man. You need to find out what you’re doing or saying on these dates of yours to scare women away. Go out on a double date with a trusted friend. Tell your friend your problem and get him (or her) to evaluate what you’re doing wrong. There are a number of things you want to make sure to avoid. Don’t talk too much about yourself, don’t talk about past relationships (as short as they may have been), and don’t talk about any weird hobbies you may have until you make it past the fourth-date mark! Do ask your date questions about herself and try to find out what interests she has that you have in common. Keep your table manners in mind (if this is a dinner date), and be courteous. Do insist on paying; this may seem old-fashioned, but you need all the advantages you can get at this point.
Dear Emily: My wife wants to have our 4-month-old son baptized at a local Protestant church, but I think it is a ridiculous idea and don’t want to do it. My wife isn’t very religious and doesn’t belong to a church, and I’m agnostic. But she insists it’s a good idea to have our child baptized “just in case.” We have been fighting for weeks about this, to no end. At this point, I’d be happy to put an end to this dispute and go along with her idea, if she could give me just one intelligent reason why we should (and the “just in case” argument isn’t it). But that is her only reason. What are your thoughts?
- Religious rumble
Dear Religious rumble: If you are not going to take your child regularly to church, then I don’t see why you should baptize him as a Protestant (of course, different religions have different beliefs about baptism). According to the Protestant religion, a baptism is a promise to God that you will raise the child as a Christian - so why make a promise no one tends to keep? But if your wife is willing to take your son to church regularly, baptism is an excellent idea. Bringing a child to church is one way to teach him sound morals. Plus, your son will grow up being able to make his own decision on whether he wants to continue going to a church or not, based on his personal experiences and not your bias.
Dear Emily: My grocery bills have been really high lately, and I can’t seem to cut costs. I only buy generic brand items to save some cash, and I clip coupons, but it isn’t enough. Know of any other tips to help me save?
- Gouged at grocery store
Dear Gouged at grocery store: My biggest weakness is going to the grocery store hungry and coming home with Twinkies and frozen mozzarella sticks that weren’t on my list. So rule No. 1 (and 2), is to stick by a pre-determined shopping list and don’t go to the store hungry. It’s just too risky. Some other tips include buying fruit in season, checking local papers for sales at different grocery stores, buying in bulk (when cheaper), picking your proteins based on what is on sale and avoiding those pre-packaged snacks (you don’t have to buy 100-calorie snack packs; you are perfectly capable of counting out a serving size).
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