Ask Emily: Bad boy for life
By Casey Gillis on Mar. 09, 2010
Dear Emily: I have a very intelligence-challenged mutt, who likes to roll around outside in dirty things, like excrement. How do I get him to stop this behavior, other than limiting the time he is allowed to play outdoors? – Dirty doggie
Dear Dirty doggie: Far be it from me to second guess your pet’s IQ, but you should know that this is a common problem. Dogs instinctively roll around in other animal’s feces as a way to mask their own sent from potential prey. Of course, your dog could be getting into doggie-doo for other reasons, like he doesn’t like his own scent after he’s been given a bath with strong smelling soap. In any case, you can stop this behavior in a number of ways. Take your dog out only on a leash. He will still get plenty of exercise this way. Also, if you catch your dog in the act, reprimand him immediately in whatever way you normally “punish” your dog for bad behavior. And finally, if your dog is rolling around in his own waste, try getting a pooper-scooper and removing the waste before he has a chance to get to it.
Dear Emily: I witnessed my best friend’s husband kissing another woman at a restaurant several weeks ago. I’ve been going crazy trying to decide if I should tell her or not. I don’t want her to get hurt, but if her husband is having an affair, shouldn’t she know about it? – Can’t decide
Dear Can’t decide: As you are well aware, you are caught in between that proverbial rock and a hard place. Your friend won’t thank you for telling her news that could destroy her marriage; and her marriage is certainly doomed if you don’t do anything at all.
So try a different approach—talk to the husband. Let him know what you saw and that if you witness anything like it again, you’ll be forced to tell his wife. This way may push the husband to do the right thing on his own: Confessing to his wife and/or ending all extra-marital affairs. This option takes the burden off of you, an outsider to the marriage, and leaves the responsibility where it belongs.
Dear Emily: My friend just gave birth to her second child, and I noticed she is very unattached to the child—she never wants to hold her and she gets extremely angry when the baby cries and can’t be consoled. I think she may have postpartum depression. How do I approach her about this without offending her? – Baby blues
Dear Baby blues: Confront your friend with some literature about postpartum depression, maybe a pamphlet from a doctor’s office or something from the Internet.
Give it to her with the disclosure that you don’t necessarily believe she suffers from this, but it is always a good idea to be informed just in case. Encourage her to read the information so she knows the signs herself. Your goal is not to make your friend feel like you are accusing her of something, but rather that you are just looking out for her (and the child’s) well being. Remember, there is a world of difference between being angry with your baby and taking that anger out on the child. So be aware yourself of the signs of postpartum depression. If you truly believe your friend has a problem and she won’t take your advice seriously, talk to the child’s father or someone else who your friend will listen to.
COMMENTS